I am using photography as an investigative tool and also a source of inspiration for my paintings to invoke past memories of my mother, the aftermath of her passing and projections of what life will be without her in the future. Many of the photographs are taken from my home in Kuala Lumpur where my father still lives today; the house shelters the shadows of her existence and its contents are mementoes of her life. By removing what might be considered as staged and artificial perspectives in my photographs, I took inspiration from them to create memories (both images and emotions) that are express by my grief, forming a series of paintings that narrates the loss of my mother. The representation of the current state and the deterioration of these neglected objects in my home are painful reminders for my father and me that my mother is no longer with us; they are manifestations of our grief. It is these ever day objects that my mother used to carry out her daily household chores that we now cherish most of all.
SERIES 1: of my paintings interprets ‘grieving’ objects that currentlyexist in the spaces they inhabit, and hence my choice to executed them in a realistic style. To me, these objects possess an intimacy and familiarity that embodies my mother’s spirit, and their portrayal rekindles not only past experiences and memories of her but represent my own mental and emotional state when I painted them.
(Sewing Machine, Fridge and Kitchen )
SERIES 2: Two of my paintingsarememories that are re-interpreted and imagined from photographs that were taken when I was not present and they serve to memoralise my mother.
(Wedded and Too late)
Projects my deep regret of not being able to see my mother for one last time before when she passed away; it is an imagination of the final moments of her life although it was based on a photograph taken by my father when she was still alive and at the hospital receiving chemotherapy for mouth cancer. I chose to present the painting shrouded in a lace veil and enclosed in a clear acrylic rectangular box to reflect and honour the death rituals of how the dead are presented in Chinese funerals.
41.5 x 50.5 cm, Oil on Linen, 43 x 54 x 8.5 cm (Acrylic box), Lace veil
Is inspired from an old black and white photograph of my parents on their wedding day. The flowers are symbolic and of special meaning in Chinese culture: the peonies in my mother’s hair symbolise prosperity and good fortune, and the lilies (百合or bǎi héin Chinese) in her wedding bouquet reminiscent of the old Chinese proverb, 百年好合(Bǎinián hǎo hé), which means "one hundred years of good union". The taking of the wedding photograph marked the beginning of their romantic and happy marriage of 55 years, while the painting of the photograph designated its abrupt end.
18.5 x 27 cm, Oil on Canvas, 36.5 x 45 x 3 cm (Frame)
is inspired from a childhood memory, of playing on the floor and watching as my mother peddled furiously on the old-fashioned sewing machine making pillows covers, curtains and repairing torn clothing. The creation was my attempt to fill the void created by my mother’s absence by seeking out reminders of her, a way that I could still feel close to her.
60 X 50 cm, Oil on Linen
Is an interpretation of my mother’s poor health caused by her indulgence of unhealthy food; the fridge is ironically also the storage for her medication that sit alongside the perishing foods that the doctors forbade her to eat. This painting represents a state of my despair that came with it both anger and questioning, of what could have been avoided if only she had been more disciplined with her health.
60 X 50 cm, Oil on Linen
Is the memory of my mother’s favorite household chore, cooking for the family. The kitchen was her domain, previously filled with the smells and noises of her cooking, an activity that exemplified her love for the family through the provision of food. It is now lies vacant and quiet, waiting for her return. This was an acceptance of the lost of my mother and of what will never be the same again; and the start of our realization on the need to rebuild and restore life for both my father and me.
28 Inch X 36 Inch, Oil on Linen
